I Can't Sleep

I can't sleep.
Wait,I think I am thinking too deep.
Of things that I want should happen,
To things I have lost.

My dark circles engulf me.
My body burns to 100 degrees.
Is that fever?
No,
But the panic I have hidden in me.

Screaming to be heard,
But wanting to keep quite.
Want to be loud,
But prefers to be naive.
These are my desires.

Insecurities cloud over me.
More than happiness,
They encircle me like a halo.
Like the divine circle of mayhem.
Confusion what it is called.

A fear of loss.
A fear of fearing the loss.
A fear of not being where I want to be.
A fear of smiling and pretense of another tomorrow.

I am an insomniac. 
I can just open my eyes wide and lay.
To the dismay.
That I can't fly.
I can't wipe the tears of those who need me.
I can't be the one to calm them down.
I can't let them know how I feel.
I can't be the smile succeeding their frown.

All I have is regret.
Regret of consoling everyone,
To not live with regrets.
When I am the sufferer in silence.

Yes, I can't sleep.
Cause, all I have to do is smile.
As I have lost the right,
To weep.