Happy Thanksgiving.... at last

It is again that time of the year when we make resolutions, promise to be a new person for a year, and again a new one in another year. We promise to lose the authenticity of being us. As we grow up, naive becomes gullible, naughty becomes devil, and the well wishers become hypocrites.

Humans have a queer habit of not being satisfied with what we get! Not that I am. I complain of having a better height, a better nose, a pouted upper lips (can't believe I am saying this!).
In short, we all have some bullshit desire to change ourselves to something we are not made for.

And all these wants and crazy aspirations comes up, because its hard for other people to accept us the way we are. We think about the society more than ourselves. We try to bring up a clone of ourselves whom we cannot recognize by ourselves.

I was one of those people, not happy with myself and wanted change. But you know what! As I turned an adult I realised that life ain't that grey as we think it is. The world is endless, and we are destined to meet those who appreciates the YOU that you are and not what others want you to become. Thankfully, I have been blessed with six such people in my life. And today when I write this it would be really unfair if I kept it confidential and hidden, as to how these people have changed my life, and if anyone can learn what fun it is to be you.

Well I would go chronologically,
Anindita, my friend, sister, guide. This pal of mine has exceptionally, understood me. She stood by me through every thick and thin of life. My first dance show in high school, first panipuri celebration in high school. I could call this friend of mine a true and devoted angel, with whom I can share everything and who could give her life for me. She has always been the one to set an example for being YOU.


Bansuri, Shweta, Nishita my college pals, who have come like a boon to my life and have always made me believe that I am the something that the world would appreciate and acknowledge. Bansuri has always been the soul sister, she knows what is going inside me before I say it. Someone who has solution to every problem I go through and the one to laugh out loud in every PJ I crack. Shweta has stood by me everytime, I had a sharp pain in my heart, someone who considered me more than herself and has been a partner in every crime I did till now. Nishita has been silently supporting there in all phases of my life, we smile she laughs, we get upset, she will be the one to shed tears, truly the most genuine human I have ever seen in my life as of yet.These three are the angels that God sent me when I had no hope.

And last but not the least, the most special person in my life. The one who has known how crazy I am since the beginning of what I call consciousness. Some one who has made me feel like never before and with whom I feel proud to stand tall and witness the world and grow old being the same old crazy person I used to be. Some one who has always been with me no matter what wrong happens with me, or how unpleasing and rude I become. Karan Pant, the man I adore, and the man I am irrevocably in love with for ages I guess. He has been the one to see me smile, get angry, whine about Justin Beiber, complaining about the small eyes I have. The man solely responsible to make me feel what the inner beauty feels like and the outer one too. Someone who has been the greatest and major support in life through all crisis and happiness.

I really can't thank you all enough to be there in my life and make my life a living experience and a worthwhile journey to travel together.
 

The Only Exception

We humans have the most queer behavior. We hate being kids in our entire childhood and when we get over the phase we complain being adults. But we always forget that there is nothing more comforting and happy than growing up. Growing old to be specific.

But have we ever wondered that you will fall for a person you absolutely never had an idea about. And make this growing up experience more like a magic!!
I did. I am in love with a man who came in my life like a dream.
Though I try to stay positive, but there are days when you are constantly feel like you don't belong anywhere. There are days you feel you don't match the present society.
But one day a man comes in like magic, like a dream come true.
One day, a man comes in, and completely changes a girl who for years didn't have any hope. Everyday is a new beginning, every morning seems beautiful now.

I started believing in myself. I started smiling, I started feeling how it feels to be loved. I now know how magical a stroke of wind is. I know how pure the smell of rain is. I know how angelic his face is. 

Am I in love? Yes I am. Do I want to grow old? Yes, and only with him.

Every day is like a song since then. A beautiful love song, which I can never get tired of listening to. 
I still remember the first day I saw him.
And I know everyday when I see him.
Eyes which scream how much he loves me, face which can make me spellbound.
I wonder how can someone be so angelic? So much that I need to pinch myself everyday and realise that it is not a dream. 
Messed up hair, pink cheeks, those expressive eyes, a perfect cut, and an aura which screams love. The way he loves me, the things he secretly does for me. Everything.

I am irrevocably in love. With my best man, my best friend and my partner for life....

Forever and always....














His presence can make anyone feel that they have met an angel. I have seen this angel, been madly in love with and can proudly call this man mine. Someone who knows me more than I do

The Life of A Gypsy Girl

Born and then taken away.
She learnt to see the world.
Adapt herself to it.
Then again taken away.

To a land unknown.
With the seeds yet not sown.

She began to knew what friends are.
But again taken away to a far off land.
A land unknown.
Again.
She took her life as it came.
She never felt its pain.
The pain of being a wanderer.

She knew never would she have the stability.
She knew she could never love.
She had it inscribed on her mind.
She knew she could never live with regrets.
Because she never had one.

She laughed, she spread cheer!
She played, she frolicked.

But one day she loved.
She loved like no one could.
She felt life was stable.
She knew what life was.
Ready to take any risk in life.

She lived, she loved, she knew what meant for her.
But then again things were taken away from her.
Her life, her happiness, her smile, her charm.
Was all taken away.

She once stood tall with respect and dignity
But again it was all taken away from her.
Her reason to live, her self respect.
All snatched away from her.

The reason being the reason of wandering.
And then again she realised.
Wandering is her fate.
Everything has to be taken away.
Things are destined to go.

She knows all she has is to go away.
Far away.
Beyond the reach.
Beyond anyone can ever imagine.
After all its her destiny....

After completing 12th boards, and while we were looking upon the colleges that we could apply in, my mother completely repeated one thing.
"Let me stay with you!"
"No! I want to live alone and explore my life!" I said.

My friends got emotional and said, "Yaar! We all will move away from each other!"
And I was like, "Dude!! No one lives alone! We will be in touch forever, and this had to happen!"

There is a time now, I am alone!
Completely!!
Isn't this what I wanted ever in my life! To be alone, to experience everything by myself, to know the world, travel, all ALONE!
But why? Why do I want to be surrounded with people now? Why I want a shoulder to cry on? Why I already miss homecooked food? Why I miss Mom already? Why I feel like breaking down with every departure of a friend of mine? Why I hate being alone in my room as well as hate being surrounded with people?

This is a total personal confession I know. But I can't express this to anyone. Coz I soon realised that dreams, aspirations, ambition and career are synonyms with slight variation.
And all we fight for, that one thing, ambition! And end up in choosing a Career for ourselves.

And this day was well predicted. All we need is to say Adios Amigos. Goodbye to the past, and say Hello to the new life awaiting.

Its just that I am gonna miss each and everyone of you, my love, my friendship, my everything still remains with you guys, and no one can take and snatch it away from me, you, or anybody else....

Its not regret, its just growing up, and looking forward and moving on in life....

But I am here will be as crazy as ever guys! :P

There are few people in this world, who cannot cry. At any painful circumstances, they just cannot reveal their sorrow to anyone. They hide it all beneath them, under them, and bear it all along with them all their life. They will never share it with anyone. No one will know about it even after they rest in peace in their grave.

I don't know. I don't know whether that makes you strong or not. Whether it makes the person, rough, tough and hard to handle type. But I can assure. Just one trigger on emotions, and you can see the person breaking down.

It feels choked. These people can actually feel the pain. A pain so severe, that no one can understand. No one will be able to comprehend.

A few days earlier, I saw a video of an eagle. Eagle's life span is of 70 years. After it is 40, it goes through a massive change. They hit their beaks hard on a mountain and it comes off. Then they break their talons. When the new and sharp beak grows back, they pull their feathers out. After this gruesome and cruel change. They get themselves back!

I think we humans also change ourselves through these changes. We change ourselves completely, break our our hopes, pull out our emotions, wear out our wings of emotions. And just wait for a new flight!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.


Les Miserable lyrics, now ringing in my ears. Sharp, and shrieking voice of Idina Menzel and Lea Michelle, describing me in their melodious voice. But all of a sudden, these hurt me!!

There are times when you think things can never go wrong. And even if they do, you have the touch of Midas. You can turn tables. Live what you dreamed of, coz comes one person in your life, whi makes you feel what you are worth! What your potentials are, what good things you have in you.

But at the end of the day, you realise, Midas was ust some Greek story, it is not reality, and will never be. You are human after all. You can't do anything, but follow what destiny has in store for you. You realise that you cannot turn tables, but they instead will turn you.

So much, that you lose yourself, you lose hope, you lose faith, you are so down that you can never get up. Your dreams crash, you keep falling under the extreme deep pithole. A never ending one. You don't know where you are, you don't know where you are going, where life is taking you along. You just follow the path which you can see right in front of you.

I don't know where I am, I don't know where I am about to go, what life has in store for me. But all I am is one with nothing in me.

I am going through a change. A complete one. Totally something which is off me, which is not me. And the worst part is I cannot stop it by myself!!

But in the end, the one who has made the deepest and darkest and sweetest memories, will always and forever will remain a hero for you. You cannot stop being with them. Coz the memories on which you smiled once, which made your day, haunts you every second of your life.

You cannot sleep, you cannot eat, you cannot think, you cannot talk. All you have is one blog and few words in english which falls short too.

These are few feelings which are left unsaid. Unspoken, unheard. And maybe you can never will.

NEVER!!

I have very few REAL friends. By REAL I mean those, who think about me, love me, and think me to be a wonderful part of their life.

I have this one friend, who loves me to the fullest, adores me, listens to all my rants, fights with those who hurt me, gives me frequent treats, caters to all my needs.

I have this another friend, who pulls my leg untill I am fed up, but will ensure that no one hurts me.

And I have another childhood friend, with whom I lost contact for almost about 12 years, but the time since we got back.. Life has taken an amazing turn.

Other than my mother, my life revolves around these amazing people. They are the people who have the most amazing qualities in them. One can understand my feelings even before I do, one makes sure I laugh my heart out even in my harshest time, and the other makes me feel special and makes me feel good.

I wont name anyone of them ( I don't want to die so soon :P)

In these three people, the first two are my girlfriends..

Many sick minded people questioned me, how can a girl like you be friends with them?

I know what I am and I know what they are. We are not drop dead gorgeous, we are not super rich, we are not the ones who takes pouty pictures in almost everything. We are WE..
Thats what makes us what we are today, free spirited, liberal, and we have the judgment to know what wrong or what is right.

The third one, a guy of course, is what I call a miracle in my life. A few years before we had no idea whether we will be together or not, stay together or not. And now we are inseperable. We cannot stay away, we fight, we laugh, we joke, we cry, we break down, we annoy each other. But we can never stay apart.
He made me feel that I am good too. I can be good, I have something in me. Has been with me and supported me all the way even when I lost hope in myself. He a lot of times made me feel to kick his ass, but also made me realise how incomplete was I without him.

Well, why am I mentioning them? Well, its a blog of free opinions. It is a place where you want to share what you feel, and going out of High School makes me feel that it is the apocalypse.

So a tribute to those who made it a pleasure is worth a job!

In the end all I want to say is ALL WE NEED IS TIME TO KNOW WHO ARE TRUE FOR US. WHO WANTS US AND WHO CAN YOU BE WITH. FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE IS ALL LIKE A STORE. YOU HAVE MILLION THINGS TO CHOOSE BUT ONLY SOME SATISFY YOU.
#That was lame

But still, it is true....
 

Lets get away from the serious issues and concentrate on something which is more general and all of us can relate to.

For the past few days, after the farewell of my school, some juniors have been trying to share a good bond with me. One of this junior whom I never saw, and who is way younger to me, said 'Hi' and the very next thing she said was, "Do you know any ways to lose weight, or diet????"

I was shocked! Not because I haven't heard what dieting is, but because of the fact that a twelve year old girl, asked me about methods of dieting, where in fact what she should think about her life, cute guys, and other things than looking down upon herself.

When I was twelve, I remember, I was fat. I mean I am still fat.

I never thought of dieting, or thinking that nobody likes me because I look ugly!
I had a good life. A friend very supportive, a family supportive enough. I was sixteen when I had concerns on my weight, and that happened because I had a massive crush on a guy, who was a school hot property. Soon that charm went off my mind. And I realised there will be someone.

Someone who will love you not for your exterior qualities, but what you have inside. Someone who will say, "Yeah! I am here to protect you!"
"You are beautiful just the way you are!"
"Screw everyone who made you feel low! I will make sure they feel even more lower!"

NOT JUST FOR GIRLS!

I have also seen boys who feel low because they thinnk they are going to die alone. They change themselves to the extent that they forget who they really are! They become cheezy for a hottie, nerd for a girl next door, turn dawn into dusk if the girl says so.

What a girl wants is just you to be you. No pretence.
If you are a jerk, be one! Coz there is always someone who desperately wants you in her life too...

Well, for every girl, there is no prince charming, the one who will sweep you away on a horse, in a tuxedo. But there is something even better.

Someone who will propose you in such a way that its simple, maybe crazy, but will touch your heart so much, that you will be bound to say, "Yes! I have got the one for me!"
Someone out there will accept the way you are, he will fight, be crazy, pamper you, make you feel what you're worth!!!! Just you should not be hesitant to express yourself well.....

All you need is patience!

 

Now let me tell you something weird about our society now.

Today early in the morning, my Mother read out an article on her favourite actor Kamal Hassan, which said he got married to his then wife Sarika when his daughters were already born.

Nobody protested against them. Nobody uttered a word of disgust. Then why pressurise those who are not into the world of glitz and glamour?

The woman and the man who decide to have a child before marriage are quite self sufficient and are adults. Then who are we to accuse them of something? They pay their own expenses and also bear that of the child born quite well. Then why the hell do you have to bother about it.

There are successful cases of single parenting. Barbara Mori, Sushmita Sen, and many more..
But why does the thing is only accused on someone when they are not a celebrity.

Apart from this issue, even celebrities are not safe. If Aishwarya Rai got pregnant, then who are you to speculate the name of the newborn? Every woman has the right to raise a kid. If she has got post pregnancy fat, then its so normal people!!!

Who are you to judge that! I saw posts on facebook, ridiculing and comparing Aishwarya's weight in terms of 2G, 3G!

I mean heights of cheap mentality people!!!
Its time we change our thinking in this time of mordernisation!!!!!!

I am not much of a feminist. But with increasing crime rates going on in my country, apart from that the whole world, I am really scared of being a woman!

I am a teenager and I am always being forced upon the fact that reading newspapers and beingin touch with the current affairs is important. But seriously, every page atleast has two to three articles on women exploitation and crime.

Either here or abroad, in every thirty seconds there is atleast one rape, in every twenty minutes an act of cruelty.

Are we living in a world? And I definitely know the apple of sin is utter rubbish which was planned by Lucifer in the early Theology or Mythologhy whatever you call it.

Are we not liberal enough to even let women wear what they want, roam where they want to. I mean if you are so nymphomaniac, then you literally have legal prostitutions..
Why kill an innocent girl brutally in a bus just to satisfy your sexual needs.
If you really want money, tell your wife to work, get money and live a happy life. Why ask for dowry?
If you want to beat someone up, Dude! Fight with real men and with those who deserve it!
FOR MEN, have you ever wondered that you would not be born if we weren't there!!!
You wouldn't have a good life without us. You wouldn't see the world without us!!!!

Well, who am I, a seventeen year old...
Typical teenager who has millions of questions and has got her own opinion.
Thanks to our very Indian Society that we are bot allowed to express ourselves..
But why to live a life like that? Where you watch as a dumb spectator and do nothing. Not that creating a blog will lead to any action. But it is definitely a better way to raise voices than lighting a candle, in this technological aided world.

Its high time we raise and judge our own voices, realise them, rather than lying dumb and mute...

It is one of my initiative.