I Wish I Was Your Santa For A Day

I have never been to get wrapped gifts.
Nor have I seen The Santa.
But if I could see, or believe in,
I would wrap the world for you.

The regret isn't you.
You are the joyful bliss.
But my veins turn blue everyday,
With the thought of your kiss.

I heard you got a box of chocolates,
I heard you got a box of your favorite things.
But I wish, I was the one,
To watch your face gleam.
Like that which engulfs my room,
The early morning sun.

I had to race against your Santa,
To a race of who knows you better.
I had to race against your Santa,
For that minimal touch, I craved.
I kept urging the want of your aura,
But your Santa stayed with you always.

I wish I could make you happy,
Like you Santa made you everyday.
I wish I would be the one to give,
The box of everything you needed,
In a small little box, for your smile.
I wish I could be your Santa now.
And make every Christmas worthwhile.

The Original Sankalp Article- which isn't THAT edited

#SorryNotSorry

You might have read about how time is important,

Or it might be about, how time has affected them.

But here I am a mere commonality.

Where time acts as a polarity.

Nineteen years of what has been my time,

But I have no tale of misery with me.

A gypsy, I have been all my life, as I call it.

Like my life is not kept on litmus to test,

My life has been the hovering hourglass.

Engulfing the normality out of me, and making me what I am right now.

CRAZY.

Now that it has been some shitty effort on making a good poetry on Time. Here is the real deal.

TIME.

When Harshil and Bansuri told me about writing article on this subject, I was like, “Yeah, I am the Shaktimaan!”

But after crossing the deadline, here I am where I have no clue, as I now have the panic attack of not knowing what it is. Millions of people must have told you, “Time is precious as Gold” or “Nikamme kaam kar.”  And more than that people must have come and say “Don’t worry; time will heal all the wounds.”

But I am here to tell you something really different. Time is your life span. Which is what? Around an average of sixty? That is really short. Because I remember I wanted my 10^th standard and 12^th standard to never end, and it went away like a blow of air. Time is your life, in short. If something should be begged from the million Gods in India is not money, wealth, respect or a good life partner, (believers of Sola Somvaars! Food is holy, should be followed religiously!) It should be TIME.

Before I tell you that why you should ask for more time, I would tell you what time is for me.

Time is that trip to Goa that you plan out of the blue with your sibling and a random stranger.

Time is that moment when your long time crush proposes you and you both become inseparable.

Time is the moment when your life gives you kick in the rear and your friends give a kick to that ass.

Time is the duration of that applause you get after your first dance performance.

Time is that affection of warmth when you see the beloved for the very first time, the beam of spark in eyes, and the windblown hair.

The time you and your friends make a special place in the college and restrict everyone else to come there, because you are the boss, and it’s a fake swag.

Time is the very first time a mother sees her child, in her hands, with the tiny little fingers and an angelic face.

Now, just rewind these small little moments, and look back at the hourglass. Don’t you want all this to happen once again in your life? Don’t you have a craving of being in that moment for a longer period of time?

Now let us imagine a situation, where every one of us just had 24 hours of life. No matter how famous the person is. Be it Mahatma Gandhi or Bill Gates or Deepika Padukone for that instance. Given 24 hours, the British wouldn’t invade India, there wouldn’t be any Quit India movement. Nor any Microsoft would happen. No one could scintillate the audiences on screen, as ‘Nobody got time for that!’

Now those who did not get my analogies, what I mean to say is Time is Life. Unpredictable, uncertain, unreliable, racing, confusing, betraying; but yet the most beautiful and astonishing element that the world encircles in. Time is not everyone should be worried about, what we should worry about is that we shouldn’t live in regret. Time is that element on which we blame all our mistakes on, just like the concept of God (but the fact is God is imaginary and time is not)

Instead of 24 hours we have millions of hours to LIVE the life. Live the moment. Time will make both of the bifurcations of incidents where you get kicked hard and also where your path is paved with soft beautiful roses. I have seen people who are really close to me, give me an hour long lecture on how you should utilize your time, and then regretting the fact that they couldn’t do a thing which they craved for. My mother for instance, being the most talented woman on earth and being good at what she is amazing at, that is painting. I see her regretting the fact that she had to leave her passion to raise a family, and then fulfill the holy duties of motherhood and family life. What is the point of living a life, where when you look back, all you find is disappointment? I wouldn’t say I don’t have any regrets in my life, but every day when I wake up, my mission is to stay strong and be an optimist.

And to the entire Uncle and Aunties and their take on utilizing time, well, I am too small to give a suggestion, but anyways I would love to.  Do not speak on how to utilize time. Instead, tell them how to make the fullest of the time given.

See the colors of the wind, watch a baby smile, watch the green leaves shed in autumn and watch the rebirth again. Feel the rain like a lover, feel the breeze, and feel the touch, of mother, father, and the beloved. Live wild, where there are no boundaries, drink if you want to drink, kiss if you want to kiss, fly if you want to fly, eat bugs if you want to, just what we need to keep in mind is DO NOT KEEP A REGRET.

To do so, it is not a piece of cake; it’s that hard push you have to give to a rock, while pushing it down a hill. People will stop you, humiliate you, torment you or lead to tyranny. It can be a friend, your lover, or even your parents. But the fact is you make your own way. And walk on it alone. Once you are through it that is when you realize that what time is and how beautiful the time is.

Speaking about me, those who know me I am an Ex-BBAite. Not by fortune but by choice. I remember the time I wanted to take Arts and report news holding the microphone labeled NDTV. But I was forced to take commerce. My friends and my class teachers know how I passed my 12^th. I got into the best journalism college in the country but couldn’t go there because again, I was under the test of time. I still remember the time I used to give my mid semesters in this college and used to weep internally and feel that I do not belong here. My best friends Bansuri Dayal Chouksey and Shweta Dadlani, noticed my pain. I wasn’t myself anymore. And they became my genuine pillars of my wings in making. I had three true friends, Bansuri, Shweta and Nishita. Who are still the love of my life. They gave me the push to believe in myself and gain myself back. Especially Shweta, she cried all day on my decision of leaving the college, tried all the things that could make me happy, texted a man I needed the most beside me that time. She gave her life to make her happy. I held hands of these three girlfriends of mine and left this college and headed to the airport to start my new journey. And look at me now, I am pursuing Mass Communication in Doon University, which is a premier institute in India and with everything I wanted in my life.  I live in a hostel (it is awesome). I now look back and do not regret any decision of moving here at all. And I am thankful to the supernatural for it.

My opinion is to live time, to embrace time, and to walk along time. Let yourself go without hurting your self- respect. Dance on the rhythm of the clock ticking. Because like time, life is too short to whine and regret. It is to celebrate, love, live laugh.

So I would end with a quote by a famous personality.

"Stay Raw, Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish, Stay Wild."

(quote by Anokhi Dasgupta, who forgot exactly what MTV had quoted)

Dear 16 Year Old Me! Hear Me Out!

Dear 16 Year Old me,

Hello, how have you been? Where have you gone? I really do miss you. Being 19 is pretty much a tough job and sucks. Well it will pass like you did I guess. I thought and and realized that I had not been fair to you. I hid things and did what I don't even do now. So I thought here are few things you should know or be aware of. So that no other 16 year old suffers from inhibitions. 

So dear you. Bullying is not cool. May it be bullying someone or bearing someone's shit! It is not cool. 

People in the world, and in our country are like crabs. When they see you growing taller, they pull you with their tweezers and bring you down, crash you, destroy you, kill you. But be a hammer. The strength you got after being destroyed for two years shouldn't happen to anyone else. 

What you have been spoon fed since your early childhood isn't the truth. Your mother isn't always right, she is human too. She is the breed of the incomplete knowledge. Like me, like anybody else. And so is everybody.

Dear, deciding to be single for life is an obnoxious idea. You won't be happy by just crushing on a drummer of the school band, who now survives on heroine. You won't have even the slightest bit of the heart to live alone to say 'I love being single!' Because someone will invade that space of yours and never leave that space.

Your parents will go against you when you need them the most. But also they love you unconditionally. They will stick to the thoughts of their "Zamaana" and appall you with the unscientific and irrational logics of 'Log Kya Sochenge Phenomena.' But never back down.

Make mistakes, take your scooty, lie to your parents and just get out once in a while, for hours, even if your butts start to sleep. And then begin a fresh.

Do cry. It is important, otherwise there will come a time, life will kick your rear ends so hard that you have to cry for years. Staying strong and not crying are two very different things.

You will love and get hurt, over and over again. You will feel like pulling your hair out. Your, 'I never freak out' attitude will not work, when he does not attend even one of your calls or when slightest things become big. 

Do not love too much, little me. There is no deeper pain than loving too much. Keep yourself first, because that is what it is meant to be. The stones melt like candles in love, yet we are humans. Little me, love yourself more, or try to. But because you are my conscience, you won't be able to. He will do things which you can't bear, he will do things which wrecks your heart way too deeply, but you need to stand up again. Coz everything will be be fine, if not today, then tomorrow, at some point.

You are not perfect, so do not even try to be one. Your weirdness make you beautiful. Your gigantic and satanic loud laugh, your mole on the right cheek, your height, your weight, everything makes you.. You.

Do not fear to revolt against to your elders. Wrong is wrong and must be rectified. They will go away and that is for your good.

Dear 16 year old me, you were amazing, you were carefree, you were naive, you were lovable, innocence reflected your face, you sang, you danced, and you were welcoming. I miss you, I want you back. Adulthood sucks to its extreme. People will want you to be mature, when you are having the worst time. Do not grow up.

Do not grow up at all little me, it is horrible here, but it will pass. 

Missing you,

Yours forever

Anokhi